Because I’m the mama.

Tonight, I had a fancypants pedicure. Like, with a reflexology massage and everything. The lady was so nice, but at one point she did ask how long it had been since my last pedicure.

“By someone that’s not me?”


I thought carefully. “About a year?”

Which is a total lie! It’s been at least two years. No wonder I’m single. I’ve been walking around with the podiatrical (is that even a word? it should be) equivalent of a snaggletooth.

The kids? They are not amused. I make them wipe their paws every single time they come in the house. Why am I not held up to the same standards?

It’s not fair.
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