I keep it in perspective.

I’m wallowing a bit.

I drove 40 minutes to Far Southern Suburb to hang out with Mr. Interwebnets yesterday. I live in a small post-war suburb that’s exactly 12 minutes from downtown. I’m not all Urban Hipster. But when the driving directions include four different highways and miles and miles of farmland? I get a little itchy.

Mr. Interwebnets and I had a nice time – Chinese food and a movie. But on that long, dark drive home, when I felt like the only car on the highway? I felt so totally alone.

I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe that I’m almost 34 and I’m driving to BFE in the hopes of finding happiness with a man I met on the Internet. I can’t believe I’m here again.

I’m exhausted.

I love my life. I have great friends, a wonderful family, a nice little house, a job I enjoy. But I still can’t quite believe that I’m here … alone. I’m glad that I didn’t get married the weekend after college graduation … or the weekend after high school graduation, for that matter, because I did grow up in that town. I’m glad I’ve had time to figure me out.

But I’m just amazed. And lonely. And know that in wallowing, I’m not focusing on the really good stuff, like how I had cereal and chocolate chip cookies for dinner because ah-ha! I live alone! And in the past, I have missed alone time when I suddenly wasn’t alone anymore.

But right now? Right now, I feel like the only single woman in the history of the universe.

However, the serious illness of an important scientist did make me laugh and laugh today.

No, not his actual illness – more like my illiteracy.

CNN.com reported today:

Scientist and author Stephen Hawking is “very ill” and has been hospitalized, according to Cambridge University, where he is a professor … Hawking, one of the world’s most famous physicists, is also a cosmologist, astronomer, and mathematician.

Stephen Hawking is a cosmetologist? Like, OMG! I had no idea. I bet his hair designs are totally cutting edge.

And, with that, let’s all say a prayer for the poor man who has been living with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) for 40 years. Which is, let’s be honest, worse than being single in your 30s.

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