There are so many holiday movie sequels that need to be made. You all have opened my eyes to the dearth of holiday sequel goodness in our society. I humbly thank you … and feel the need to host a telethon to raise money to get these movies made already. So far, Lil’ Frankfurter has agreed to answer phones. So, it’s really coming together.
Thanks for your very witty comments. I am proud to be friends with anyone who considers Die Hard a Christmas film. Truly. Also, it seems to be general consensus that Randy from A Christmas Story goes on to enjoy an alternative lifestyle. Whatever makes you happy, my little snowsuit-wearing, cabinet-living, eat-like-a-piggy-chowing friend.
I could just list all of the comments here because they are all so awesome, but I’ll let you go back to the original post to read them. Instead, I’ll give you the top two.
But Cha Cha! There was no mention of a first runner up in the original contest!
I know! But I had to have a first runner up because, well, there was awesomeness involved. So, there will be not one but two fabulous prizes!
First runner up: the lovely Laura!
The Holidays find all of our favorite kids back in their hometown catching up with each other over drinks:
Linus and Sally got married and live in the burbs with their 2.5 kids, mini-van and Snoopy’s puppies (and a pumpkin patch where he still spends each Halloween waiting for the Great Pumpkin.)
After a couple of failed marriages Lucy finds herself bitter and unemployed. She winds up serving drinks at a topless bar and realizing that Karma truly can be a bitch.
Peppermint Patty and Marcie just got back from DC where their union was recognized by law.
Schroeder made it to the finals of “America’s got Talent” where he lost to a bubbly blonde singing sensation.
Pigpen got the last laugh when he founded a technology company, got rich in an IPO and now spends his time traveling the world and working for charity.
After a childhood filled with disappointments and self esteem issues, Charlie Brown turned it all around and became a life coach.
Bwah ha ha! I can see this all with glorious clarity – and feel a sense of closure now that I know what happened to those kids. I’m especially enjoying Karma’s sweet glow, as Lucy always made me so darn mad.
And then? Then, we have our winner, the amazing Green Girl in Wisconsin!
Herbie the Elf opens up a dental practice and extracts thousands of teeth full of cavities, leading to a ban on candy canes in the North Pole. Mrs. Claus gives Santa what for for being a judgmental jerkwad and he and the Reindeer Coach take sensitivity training. In their absence, The Abominable leads the elves in toy making (Monster Trucks!) and Rudolph continues to lead the reindeer training while Charise gives birth to TWINS. Santa fails sensitivity training, Mrs. Claus falls for the gold-digging Yukon Cornelius who is already fat and HE becomes the NEW SANTA while old Santa winds up manning a convenience store in New Jersey where people are jerks to HIM.
Again, I obviously love a little Karma in my holiday movies. Also, I love this sequel because it really seems to set the cast up for a number of spin-offs: a reality show about old Santa’s New Jersey convenience store, a Grey’s Anatomy-esque nighttime soap about Herbie’s dental practice, and a Discovery Channel monster truck show featuring The Abominable … and Yukon Cornelius, just because he seems like a monster truck sort of guy and would have time away from being the new Santa since filming would take place in the summer.