Going to pot.

Iron Needles made a funny comment about my former elementary school being turned into apartments for seniors:

I cannot get out of my mind the seniors using the restrooms with the little shorty commodes!

Dude, I know.

But! My elementary school was built in 1912. There were only two bathrooms in the entire building – one for boys and one for girls. These loos were on opposite sides of the basement – a basement that was split down the middle by a huge boiler room. And this boiler room was, of course, pretty well lined with asbestos insulation.

Anyway. So, it was a three-story building, right? With high ceilings and transom windows above the doors and what seemed like very steep staircases. And let me tell you – if you were in class on the third floor, you had to really, really need to hit the little girls’ room before you walked all the way downstairs and then climbed all the way back up.

As for the mini-johns?

I don’t recall them being shorties. Which is really too bad. Because I love the idea of the seniors using the shortie johns, too. Nevermind the fact that they gutted the building and I imagine each apartment has, you know, its own bathroom.

No, it’s much better to think of the elderly sitting on a mini john and being unable to get up. Because there’s one toilet on my floor at Corporate Behemoth that’s maybe an inch shorter than the others. And every time I sit on it, I’m surprised and think I’ve gotten taller. And then I realize it’s harder to get back up, especially if my quads are screaming from doing Shred with Jillian Michaels.

Luckily for Krampus, frogs don’t use public restrooms. Especially not frogs with batteries in their bellies.

However, Krampus did take a tour of my past educational haunts.

Here he is lounging outside of my junior high.
And here? My high school. The tree that Krampus has so carefully climbed?
It wasn’t there when I was in school. Speaking of elderly …

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