Corporate wardrobe roundup.

It’s been unseasonably warm the last 10 days, and you know what that means.

Yes. Unfortunate fashion choices abound at Corporate Behemoth.

I can forgive the white pants even though it’s early April. But I can’t help but cast a critical eye on the sandals.

Strappy sandals? OK. But thongs? Really? Not appropriate in a corporate environment.

Also? I’m a horrible person, but … if you have really gnarly feet? Don’t wear sandals to work. Seriously. Because even in the coldest, darkest depths of next winter, I will look at you and think, “Eww.”

Speaking of fashion emergencies … my coworkers and I visited a call center today. It was “Leisurewear Day,” which is evidently corporatespeak for “Pajama Day.” We saw a lot of overweight people in pajama pants. But one of the supervisors told us that even “Leisurewear Day” required some guidelines.

“Basically, if you can see down it, up it, or through it, don’t wear it!” he announced.

So true. And not just on Leisurewear Day. Every day.

Which brings me to the boobs.

If you haven’t already, visit my racktacular post and leave a comment to raise money for Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

But what does this have to do with Corporate Behemoth?

See, there’s this woman who works on my floor. She’s maybe in her late twenties. I’m thinking she might have had a baby in the last few years. And she … well, she could use a new bra.

Seriously. They shouldn’t be grazing your belt when you’re under 30.

And I don’t mean to be mean or hypercritical, but I think, “Ohmygod! I can help you! Go to Katie at Nordstrom and she will fit you properly and then you’ll know what size you need and then you can buy bras anywhere! You’ll have a new outlook on life and will look 20 pounds lighter! Your current bras make you look haggard! And nobody likes haggard boobs!”

But I don’t know this woman at all. And I think I would probably get fired if I followed my gut instinct and just grabbed her knockers and propped them up as I passed her in the hall. I wouldn’t mean it creepy-like – just more of a “Now, isn’t that better?” I’d be a goodwill ambassador for proper bra fittage.


Yeah, I’d probably get fired, good intentions or not.

At least My Guy supports me. His comment? “People need to know about lift and separate!”

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