Tryin’ to get the feeling again.

I took a comp day today.

I liked it.

I ran a few errands. I spent $40 (Forty! Dollars!) on two (TWO!) hopefully indestructible dog toys and watched Lil’ Frankfurter wear himself out. I got a massage. I watched three episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

I want to do it all again tomorrow.

I am fighting burnout. I haven’t been writing about it because I don’t want to give it breath and legs and make it even more real. I know that in some ways, this is making it worse. I know that it’s not normal to sit at your desk and want to cry. I know this.

I thought I would be fighting the urge to check my work e-mail all day. I was both relieved and horrified to realize that I didn’t think about it all day. I am terrified to think about what my inbox might look like in the morning. I don’t know what would be worse – for it to be overflowing or filled only with the sound of crickets. I don’t want to be overwhelmed, but I also don’t want to realize I’m suffering for a need that isn’t there.

I’m trying to hold on to my massage hangover.